About the Author: Sunday Sermons from Sell Chapel are written by Rev. Preston Van Deursen, Director of Pastoral Care at the Masonic Village at Elizabethtown.
Have you ever noticed that men and women differ in their use of humor? Men’s humor is more competitive, and therefore more sarcastic. Women’s humor is more supportive.
For example, famed comedian George Burns, remembered especially for the television show he hosted along with his wife, Gracie Allen, was roasted by some of his friends. Here are some of the things they had to say.
BOB HOPE: “The first time I saw George Burns on the stage I could see he had what it takes to become a big star . . . Gracie Allen.”
WALTER MATTHAU: “I did The Sunshine Boys with George, and everything I know about acting I learned from . . . Jack Lemmon.”
STEVE ALLEN: “I was very excited about George’s last book because I thought it was.”
MILTON BERLE: “I have to say this about my friend George. He looks just the same today as he looked forty years ago . . . old.”
RED BUTTONS: “George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India . . . So he sent his kids there.”
BOB NEWHART: “The way George Burns sings, even E. F. Hutton doesn’t listen.” (1)
I can’t even imagine women roasting one another like that . . . at least in public. Can you imagine a woman emcee saying about another woman, “She looks just the same today as she looked forty years ago . . . old”? Generally when women make remarks like that, it is not meant as just a joke. At least, that’s my observation.
It’s a cliche, of course, in a generation that understands that “Men are from Mars . . . and Women Are from Venus,” but men tend to be more competitive in their communication and women tend to be more relational. Women are more apt to encourage one another. You’ll hear it here at church. One woman will meet another and one will say, “How nice you look! What a beautiful dress. I believe you’ve had your hair cut. It looks so good!” Can you imagine two men greeting each other that way? “Mike, how handsome you look today. That suit really makes you look buff.” It just doesn’t happen. And what a shame.
We all need encouragement. Don’t we? Is there anyone here who is offended when someone gives them a genuine compliment?
A man was talking about his grandson, a two-year-old with Down syndrome. “Like most children that age,” he said, “our grandson has difficulty understanding the word ‘No.’ He’s always testing the limits. However, I’ve noticed that if you applaud him for anything, he’s apt to do it again. I’m learning to say ‘no’ less often and to say, ‘Good job!’ a lot more.”
Hey, that’s true of everyone. That wonderful old philosopher Dr. Samuel Johnson once put it like this, “The applause of a single human is of great consequence.” And it is.
Even our greatest president, Abraham Lincoln, needed tangible encouragement to spur his sometimes sagging confidence. When Lincoln was tragically killed, several items were found in his pockets: an embroidered handkerchief, a watch, and some confederate money. But most interesting of all was a ragged copy of a newspaper article. The article had been written during a time of great controversy and turmoil in the country. In the text of the article, the writer extolled Lincoln’s virtues, approving of the decisions he had made in office
Lincoln was not that different from the rest of us. He needed to be appreciated. He cherished applause from those who observed him, and there is no one in this room who does not need that from time to time. We need to be affirmed, appreciated, applauded.
St. Paul was an encourager. He applauded those who deserved to be applauded. He affirmed those who needed to be affirmed. He was continually expressing his appreciation for the people who kept the churches going in Philippi, Thessalonica, and elsewhere. In today’s lesson we read, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.” That’s St. Paul. He was an encourager. And that’s important. Everyone needs to be encouraged. The world has enough critics. We need more encouragers.
I read something interesting recently from Japan. Have you been reading about advances in the science of aromatherapy? Aromatherapy has to do, obviously, with smells.
Here’s what is fascinating. There is a department store in Japan that pumps an unpleasant scent all around its complaint department. The department store hopes to cut down on customer complaints by making their complaint department as unpleasant as possible. I believe they’re on to something. We’ve got enough complainers. Actually criticism gives off its own unpleasant aroma. It fouls the air in homes, in offices, in government–wherever people are tempted to fill the air with negative thoughts. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar has a name for it–stinkin’ thinkin’. What we need are people who fill the air with the aroma of encouragement.
I believe that is one reason God gives us grandparents. Every parent knows, at least they know intellectually, how important it is to give encouragement. Experts tell us that for every criticism a child hears, he or she needs to hear 10 “‘attaboys” or “attagirls.” But parents are human. And sometimes emotions bubble over. It’s helpful in such situations to have another family member who will be present with unconditional love.
Richard Allen Farmer is a professor at Gordon College and a much sought-after motivational speaker. When he was a youngster, his grandparents bought him a small plastic cartoon projector as a Christmas present. Bringing a couple of reels of black and white cartoons, his grandfather taught Richard how to thread the projector. He patiently demonstrated how to bend the film around the sprockets and thread it into the take-up reel. After one demonstration, his grandfather said, “Now you try it.” Richard threaded the projector correctly. His grandfather said, “I have the smartest grandson in the world!”
Years later, Richard asked his grandfather if he remembered that incident. He didn’t, but Richard sure did! “For all the years following that day until now,” says Richard Allen Farmer, “I have thought I was bright, skillful, teachable, quick to catch on.” Then he adds, “I would probably also have remembered if
[my grandfather] had said, ‘I have the dumbest grandson in the world.’ And my life might have demonstrated my belief.” A simple word of encouragement from his granddad was life-changing for Richard Allen Farmer.
Writer Ben Burton tells about a member of his family whom he calls, Blank. Blank–the kid who didn’t fit in. Blank’s not his real name, but Ben wants to protect his identity.
Blank couldn’t do anything right. But one day, Blank’s grandfather took him fishing. Blank made an impressive catch. His grandfather told him he was “the best young fisherman (he) had ever seen.” After that, everything in Blank’s life changed. He fished constantly, and began winning tournaments and acclaim. His grades improved, and he became more sociable. Blank eventually graduated from college and became a powerful lawyer in Arkansas. He married a lovely lady and raised a family. He fought in World War II. He was decorated for bravery. His grandfather’s encouragement had opened up new horizons for Blank.
If we had time today, I would let some of you tell your story. My guess is that many of you could tell of a grandmother or grandfather or aunt or uncle who gave you that kind of unconditional love. I would like to think that parents are always that supportive, but sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sometimes God needs other family members or neighbors or friends who will supply the encouragement that all young people need. Notice how Paul compares himself to a parent. “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God.” Paul knew that everyone needs encouragement, whatever their age or situation in life.
That’s why God created churches. Have you ever thought of the church as a center for encouragement? Some of you grew up thinking of the church as a place of condemnation. How sad. “Sinners in the hands of an angry God.” I wonder how anyone ever thought of that as Gospel–Good News? Here’s the good news. God loves you. God wants you to be all God created you to be. God wants to encourage you, praise you, applaud you. God is the ultimate loving parent seeking to help God’s children discover all the abundant life that is their birthright. That’s the Gospel. That’s the good news. And that’s why God created the church. To be a light in a dark world. To send out love in a world of hate, hope in a world of despair, kindness in a world of cruelty. That’s who we are and what we’re about.
Oh, I know. Some churches have been known for the foul smell of criticism and negativism that has permeated the air, the stinkin’ thinkin’ we were talking about earlier. But usually it’s just a handful of people who are the most critical.
A farmer went to a restaurant owner to find out if he wanted to buy a million frog legs. When the proprietor asked where he could find so many frogs, the farmer replied, “I’ve got a pond at home just full of them. They drive me crazy night and day.” They agreed on several hundred frog legs. A week later, the farmer came back with two scrawny sets of frog legs and a foolish look on his face. “I guess I was wrong,” he stammered. “There were just two frogs in the pond, but they sure were making a lot of noise!”
In most churches you will find only a few people who are really critical. Unfortunately they sometimes make a lot of noise. I want you to imagine what it would be like in this church if we became known as a center of encouragement–if everyone here were to develop a ministry of encouragement. Imagine the kind of atmosphere our young people who are staff would grow up in. Imagine the kind of fragrance we could carry out with us to our those who are going through painful experiences. Imagine the kind of greeting that newcomer would receive. If we were centers of encouragement. Would you be willing to give it a try?
A church broke ground for a new 500-seat sanctuary. An inventive church member made sure everyone could participate in the experience. He attached a 145-foot handle to a stainless steel spade so that all 300 members could squeeze together to turn the first shovel full of dirt. A few days later, when a construction worker spotted the odd shovel and asked what it was for, the minister, the quick-witted pastor , replied, “We bury ’em deep around here.” That 145-foot handle was a symbol that everyone in that church was involved in the construction of that new sanctuary. If we are to be known as a people of encouragement, it will take the commitment of us all to make it happen. But I believe that is God’s will for us.
Why? Because that is what the cross is all about. It is a symbol of encouragement. “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” How much more encouragement can we receive than that? God loves us and has granted us the opportunity for life everlasting. What then is our task? To continue God’s ministry of encouragement, to spread God’s encouragement to everyone we meet. It is the task of every Parent, it is your divinely appointed task to encourage your children. That is also the task of grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors. it is our task to encourage one another. To encourage the pastors, the people who sing in our choir, the dedicated people who work on our committees. when we leave this place, it is to take this ministry of encouragement outside these walls to everyone we meet. What an impact we can have! That is Christ’s call to us church. I wonder if he can count on you and I.
